Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
