Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
