I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
