If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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