the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
