My cat gives me a boner
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
