i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
