so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize