I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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