ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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