so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
