her vagine was all disorganized.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
