How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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