she was so not down for the gang bang
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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