he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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