i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
