By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
