Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
