I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
