it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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