So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
