this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Who died my cat blue again?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
