My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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