yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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