he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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