I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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