My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
