Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
