Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
