I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
