It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
