What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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