Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
