Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
