Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
