my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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