And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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