the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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