i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
