he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
