So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
