I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
