Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
