So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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