She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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