please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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