my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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