that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
