i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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