He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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