I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
