What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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