Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The best revenge is premature balding
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
