Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
