Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
