I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
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