It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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