There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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