aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
