I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Panties = found
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
