i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
