u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
